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Sex in my vegetable garden.

Well there is no sex, I just put it in the title to increase the traffic to this thread you pervy bastards!  :-D

So onto the matter at hand. This year was the first year I grew vegetables in my yard (garden) and I love it. It is a sad reflection on what I have become that I get pretty excited to see how my veg has grown after I get home from work.

So I plan on expanding my patch but need to work on how I can keep it organic but keep the bugs away. I have done some interweb searches but am wondering if anyone has any advise or can recommend a good site or book on organic gardening in general.

Cucumbers marrows courgettes carrots turnips... I mean, pest control? Sorry, can't help you there... parsnips.

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I don't have any advice.  I've never had a garden.  I only opened the thread because I'm pervy and wanted to read about sex in your garden.  I thought your post might contain a vivid description of praying mantis love.

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Be careful. This thread might be flagged as being inappropriate for the forum. Adult content! We need flags! We need new forums! We need http://www.clipartof.com/images/thumbnail/385.gif!

::)

Maybe if you do have sex in the garden, the bugs will leave you alone, and give you some privacy!

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Be careful. This thread might be flagged as being inappropriate for the forum. Adult content! We need flags! We need new forums! We need http://www.clipartof.com/images/thumbnail/385.gif!

::)

Maybe if you do have sex in the garden, the bugs will leave you alone, and give you some privacy!

Probably no sex but one site I read advised to piss over your veg to keep the bugs away. For real.

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it really depends on what bugs and what plants you're having problems with....if you have a farm supply/feed store near by, the people there should be fairly helpful in pointing you in the right direction. (Only use the word 'natural' vs 'organic'....sometimes when people hear 'organic' they immediately put their guards up and won't be very helpful.)

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I have heard that sprinkling a line of used coffee grounds around the border of the garden keeps the slugs and snails away coz they hate it. I haven't tried it yet, and I really need to because my cauliflowers are getting munched. Up til now my approach to organic gardening has been "plant the veges, water them, leave them alone..." it's worked out great so far, I don't mind the odd hole nibbled out of my silverbeets. Or you could look into companion planting, where you do stuff like growing mint between and around cabbages to repel white butterfly... very natural very cool way to do it!

</serious answer>

I'm disappointed in the google images that come up when you search "sex vegetable garden". :P

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Eric. My dad used to walk around the yard taking pictures of all bugs he could find having sex. We have tons. I want to frame them all.

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I had to post because last week someone WAS having sex outside in our backyard near the garden! TRUE! (not me and my husb by the way)  I actually found the used condom while gardening.  Gross and EWWWWWWWW!

I would love to have only an insect pest problem.

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I have nothing to add, I'm just a big ole perv

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My parents had a garden!

- box o lady bugs. Release them at dusk/sunset so they don't fly away right away. Some places recommend spraying them lightly with a water/soap solution, so that they won't be able to fly til they can lay some eggs. We never had to do this, though
- I think they also sell praying mantises at garden stores/hardware stores
(I dunno how you feel about the bug-breeding industry, but the ladybugs do work)
- nasturtiums (the flower, not watercress). they repel certain pests and can attract a certain type of aphid to themselves (ideally saving another plant from the aphids)
- marigolds. they repel some pests that eat tomatoes/potatoes/peppers/eggplant (belladonna family)
- pyrethrum chrysanthemums. it's where they get the insecticide pyrethrin.
for snails, my parents always used crushed eggshell (not vegan, i know, but if you know any non-vegans with shells to spare...), which seemed to work.

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fb, doesnt spraying bugs with water/soap kill them? We've always used that to get rid of bugs.

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I guess for beetles it just makes their shell stick to their wings.

Hmm, now that I've looked for it, I can't find the thing that says to spray them. However, there are things that mention spraying the whole container with water & watering the garden before releasing the ladybugs.

I swear there was something you spray to get their wings to stick... oh well.

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You can buy ladybug larvae at some garden shops/nurseries.  They have a voracious appetite for aphids, but when the aphids are all gone the Ladies will leave and eventually the aphids will come back.
Hot pepper wax is very effective on aphids, spider mites, thrips, whiteflies, lace bugs, and leafhoppers but won't do anything against most beetles or caterpillars.  This can also be found at some nurseries.

Or you can make your own hot pepper concoction using the following:

1 bulb garlic
8 - 10 chile peppers
1 Tbsp. olive oil
3 cups water
1 Tbsp. dawn dish soap

Put everything but the soap in a blender and whiz.  Strain through cheese cloth and then add the soap.  Pour it in a spray bottle and test on a few leaves before covering plants.  Some plants are more sensitive and their leaves may burn.

Checkout Garden Web.  http://www.gardenweb.com/  They have great forums for pretty much everything.

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I have nothing to add, I'm just a big ole perv

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Well there is no sex, I just put it in the title to increase the traffic to this thread you pervy bastards!  :-D

:-D  ;D

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I don't have any advice.  I've never had a garden.  I only opened the thread because I'm pervy and wanted to read about sex in your garden.  I thought your post might contain a vivid description of praying mantis love.

my thoughts exactly ;D

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when it comes to organic gardening, rodale is the best publisher in my opinion.  heres one of their guides:

http://www.amazon.com/Rodales-Vegetable-Garden-Problem-Solver/dp/1594863083

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For all the perverts looking for sex in the garden here's the closest i could come to finding something for you all.

One of our horticultural societies lovely female members had a beautiful garden but with the weather we had last summer her tomatoes would not ripen. So she came to our club meeting and asked what she could do about it.

One of our favorite members perked up and said, "Well, it may sound crazy but here`s what to do. Tonight there`s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they`ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they`ll all be red, you`ll see."

Well, she reckoned it was worth a try and she did it. Next day a member asked her how it worked.

"So-so," Gwen answered. "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer."

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