Everybody here does handle EDs with kid gloves... and yet the same posts are made over and over.  Maybe a more direct post will help someone to see that what is going on is not right, and that what they are doing to themselves requires more help than just what a message board can provide.

  My parents couldn't get it together that there was a problem with someone other than themselves. Once it became clear that they were never, ever going to notice that something was wrong until something was too late, I got the hell out of there.

Once I started realizing what was going on with myself and my ED, I realized that more than anything, I wanted someone to notice that I wasn't okay. I didn't want them to try and fix me, or hover over me, or give me attention. I didn't want them to get upset; I just wanted them to give a s***.

What I took from the post and my sentiments are that a lot of us do see that something isn't okay here, and we care about everyone who's struggling. People with EDs aren't evil, they don't have bad habits, they aren't weak or otherwise damaged.

People with EDs are struggling. All we can do is say we're here, we care, and keep working at recovery.

i totally agree. i feel like sometimes the posters are simply looking for support and recognition. i feel like *wearing* your thinness is a cry for someone to notice, to care. unfortunately, while the board may be a safe place, i don't think it will do much if you don't have the changes going on in your real life, w/ the real people around you.

for months last year, i spent time on veggieboards and its specific ED threads, just lurking. it was my way of prepping myself for my hospitalization. i know that if i didnt have that board, i wouldnt  be here today. no one in my life really knew how bad it was, and i realized that no one was going to call me out on it....but i needed that anonymous support, if nothing else.
i have found it safe here, if not so much to explain myself, but just as a like minded community...people are so open, about everything...that i have found it easier to be open, and to face my own ED. and i hope that anyone that is struggling right now, can look at everyone here and see those who have recovered or are currently recovering as inspiration. i know i have.

however, even just this week, i wanted to show some info that was sent to me about diabetes and EDs, and i felt like i didnt want to burden anyone. im not looking for sympathy, but i just want to explain what ive been going thru, w/o being whiney....
i was about to make a post, then i saw this, and decided not to.

maybe this isnt the "correct" forum, but i dont feel like we should be relegating what issue is okay to discuss here or not.

(i know this thread has gone elsewhere than what SB originally posted... i get what she was getting at)

As in any generalization, there's  going to be SOME people who will use veganism as a means to reinforce the thought process of their eating disorder.  However, I think the overwhelming majority of people who are eating a vegan or vegetarian diet do so because of the health benefits and because they love animals.  No matter what kind of diet a person is eating, if the disorder is strong enough, they will undoubtedly restrict or increase calories accordingly.  My sister battled anorexia for over a year, had lost a significant amount of weight, and was getting precariously close to being hospitalized.  When she became a vegetarian, she gained back nearly 20 pounds and never looked back.  I've known quite a few people over the years who were vegetarians and I honestly have never known one to be overweight, although there will be exceptions in that too.  And yes, I would hear the usual, "doesn't she or he look sickly? God, they are so thin!"  Let's face it, when you eat a vegetarian or vegan diet, it's probably going to be low in fat, high in fiber, and relatively low in calories.  If you already have a fast metabolism, you're probably going to lose some weight before your body stabilizes.  So, my point is this- a lot of the people on this website may appear very thin but I would think most are in good health, have a low percentage of body fat and are proud of themselves for not eating meat.  An eating disorder isn't about WHAT kind of foods are involved. It's about WHY are they consuming or depriving themselves of those foods.

when i first thought i went vegan ( just eating no meat or dairy) i did it to lose weight as a "diet" so i know where your coming from... people would always say, "so u do it for the animals?" and i would say, "no because it's healthier"...i was anorexic at the time... i now follow a vegan diet for the animals and it's the real deal (no animal bi products at all)... i have had an eating disorder forever and at this point it is not the reason i am vegan... i b/p... when i was heavier yes to lose weighti was vegan... but now i am skinny and that is not why i do it... i think it is really stupid to label most vegans as having an eating disorder... it is a healthier way to live... period ...end of story and i am disgusted u feel the need to slam vegans and write a book about something like that... i am really offended because yes i have an eating disorder but it is not the reason i am vegan!

I realize this threat was dead and gone, but i felt the need to reply and at the time, did not notice the date. I am leaving my comment up though

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A lot of ideas on what to post came to mind, so I dunno maybe this won't make any sense. I figured I would just share my story on why I choose to be vegan, why I did it. And any other thoughts that just seem to bug me. I dunno...

I thought about becoming vegetarian for a long time, veganism was something i thought i wasn't strong enough for. And I will admit, I did it because I thought vegetarians were beautiful.Vegetarians in general (most of them) look healthy to me. It was also connected to a religious belief. I also was becoming too aware of how my food got to my plate. How the animals were murdered, how they were treated. For a very long time i tried to tell myself it was okay, but I couldn't do it anymore. The more I ate meat, the more disgusted I felt, sluggish and not at all healthy. I will be honest, I wanted to become veg to lose weight. But it was by no means a "diet" It was my choice to change my lifestyle. But again, I did want to lose weight from it.
I will also admit, I suffer from a what appears to be a more common eating disorder these days: not knowing when to stop. To put it simplely I lack the knowledge of when to stop, my stomach does not give me a full feeling, my brain doesn't give me a trigger. I have to be very aware of how much I eat, limiting or excluding quick fixes in my house. Maybe I'm pathetic, I dunno, but I'm always learning how to help myself. I have a calorie calculating program, but I use it for more then one reason, on one hand, I want to make sure I'm eating enough food on my vegan path, making sure I get enough of the vitamins and minerals I should be. I also use it to make sure I'm not eating too much. I am 5ft7inch 258lbs, I can eat 2300 calories a day and maintain weight, I can eat 1200 calories and be healthy and somewhat rapidly lose weight, or I can eat 1500 and lose weight but not as fast. I usually eat somewhere between 1200-1500. I always make sure to get 1200 calories, anything below that is not healthy for my body type (most people in general). With that being said I don't torture myself always counting the calories, anymore. It was an unhealthy obsession. I realize that.

With all that being said, thats just my story.  Heres my opinion: seeing people talking about their eds does not upset me, I have even posted my own story on one board incase it helps anyone. If they're bragging about their eating disorders I can understand the anger. From what I've seen most of "these people" who post about their problems want nothing more then to know they're not alone. They need support, and compassion. I understand why this post was started, and I commend the person for doing it. I realize their intentions were good. I don't think everyones intentions were pure. However my opinion is this: just like a smoker, no matter how many times you tell them its wrong, its bad, or they shouldn't do it. They won't help themselves until they want to. Period. Admitting you have a problem is the first step in anything, and if I can help anyone give themselves courage to go seek the professional help they need, then damnit I will do it.

Say you go to a dinner, the guy next to you is a eating a disgustingly fat dripping hamburger. No matter how much you are sickened,disgusted, or want to say something. You know you can't (well maybe you do but thats another story). Why should lashing out at people because of their problems be any different. If you don't like it, just ignore it. As hard as it is.

Thats as much as I'm going to say. Those might just be my opinions. I am a compassionate person, even when I used to eat meat. I feel compassion for all living things, animals and humans alike. I feel like others need to learn the same.

oh good because i thought a lot of this was really mean... we all have our problems and i have found the ED thread helpful for my recovery... many girls suffer from this and it is unfortunate i think being kind and supportive get's a lot more done than what this person did

I found that pretty confrontational too, although I understand the frustration people can experience who either live with an ED or know someone who does. I have VERY little experience with this issue, but do know and care about people who live with EDs. It's intimidating trying to figure out how I can be supportive (or at least, how I can avoid anything triggering or anything else that contributes to negative thoughts or feelings). I guess it's different with everyone and once you're able to talk about it, each person will let you know what they prefer (or need, don't want etc). I think the most important thing for me is recognizing that people ARE NOT their eating disorders; the ED is its own thing separate from who the person is. Although I have never struggled with an eating disorder myself, I feel that keeping this in mind is the most helpful and healthiest way to deal when I know someone I care about is going through stuff.

/end ramble

Yeah, yg.  When I opened the thread yesterday, la's thread was on top.  It was bittersweet.  I miss her.

The point of multiple boards is to allow people to discuss something in one place and it staying there.  Dragging food fight threads to other boards defeats the purpose of a specific place to put the contentious threads without infecting the rest of the forum.  The reason we ended up with multiple boards in the first place was so people could steer clear of the News & Debate / Food Fight threads while they navigated the rest of the board.

Oprah has said a few things that I really like.  One is people do what works for them until it doesn't work anymore and then they do something else.  For eating disorders, 50% of people recover, 40% of people don't, and 10% of people die.  Each person with a disorder/addiction/etc. will perpetuate their dysfunction until it doesn't work for them anymore.