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something that's been bugging me

so i was in the shower this morning, thinking about being vegan and this forum and other general things.  and for some reason i realized i had been really agitated and couldn't figure out why for the past few days, re: this subject.  so i thought about it for a bit and slowly started to realize what has been bothering me.  

this all started around the honey debate.  which i do NOT want to bring back up here.  that's just where it began.  i was thinking about why i was being so stubborn about honey in my diet, when really i could care less about stopping eating it.  it's not like i buy it.  i don't cook with it.  the only times i eat it are when it just happens to be in something that i could easily find an alternative for.  so why was i being so...  just stubborn about it?  it's not like i don't understand the reasoning behind it.  i do.  

but here's where i started to really get it...  i've noticed...  and here's where i hope i don't start to make people mad, but if i don't get this off my chest i'm going to start coming here less and less and i don't want to do that.  but anyway, i've noticed that a lot of times when anyone (not just me) mentions they ate something or they say something kind of out of place...  people just show up and comment "not vegan!"...  which is honestly, very offputting.  as a somewhat new vegan, trying to find my way here, the last thing i want is for my efforts to be poo-pooed by someone pointing a finger at me and telling me i'm not something that i thought i was.  and it's often not in reference to something i'm even saying, it'll be about someone else entirely...  and MOST people don't do this and are very nice.  

i don't know...  i don't think that those of you who do this thing realize how bothersome it is.  it probably seems harmless, but i'm sure there is a more polite way to go about voicing your opinion, or even your facts!  when i read something that someone has eaten that i'm pretty sure isn't vegan, and i KNOW they are 'vegan', i usually say something along the lines of 'i think there is eggs in that' or 'here's a site that could give you more information, if you want it'.  and while you're probably just saying that the FOOD they have eaten isn't vegan, just showing up to say 'not vegan!' mostly implies that the person themselves is not vegan, and therefore shouldn't call themselves one.  haven't any of you made a mistake before?  i mean, we all have.  and sometimes we make choices on things before we are informed about them, only later to go back and change our minds, based on newfound information.  and maybe the people you say this to aren't even vegan, as many people on this site are simply ovo-lacto or some variation of vegetarianism.

IMHO, that does not make me 'not vegan'.  and i don't appreciate when such things are said, either in reference to myself or others.  such are the actions, in my mind, that make vegans appear arrogant and self-righteous to the general public (at least that's the way most people i know see us, unfortunately).  please don't get angry with me, i'm not trying to make enemies.  i'm just voicing how i feel before i get so resentful that i stop coming here.

HH those are awesome, I'm totally using thoughs :>

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I've always heard "avoid the issue" or "dance around the issue"  ...is there a food that vegans beat, you know like...... pulvarize?  I know I get pretty violent trying to hand mash chickpeas  but "beat around the chickpeas" doesn't quite have that zing.....

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One more thing about calling people on (non)vegan sayings.  I didn't have Vegan Vittles cookbook with me at the time of my post about it.  Vegan alternative sayings are sprinkled throughout the book.

Example:
:(    There's more than one way to skin a cat.
;)b  There's more than one way to peel a potato.

:(    Don't put the cart before the horse.
;)b  Don't slice the bread before it's baked.

:(    You can kill two birds with one stone.
;)b  You can slice two carrots with one knife.

:(    It's no use beating a dead horse.
;)b  It's no use watering a dead rose.

Here's a good one from Mr. Sam Pepys, ca. 1660: When something doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, you say, "All my cake is dough." Meaning no raisins, nuts or yummy bits. Just plain bleah undercooked dough. It didn't turn out.

Strangely enough, in Spanish, when you're being very impatient about something and wearing holes in the carpet pacing, you say "No se me cuece el pan"--"My bread won't bake." I suppose it's along the lines of a watched pot never boils.

And one I love that I think I picked up here on VW when you dislike something or it makes you frustrated: "That really grinds my beans!"

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How about beat around the blackberry bush?  That way, it's implying that the only thing you're hoping to get out of it is some delicious blackberries. ^-^

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Here in Spain they do beat olive trees to get the fruits to fall. So, beat around the olive tree?

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:)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>> :)>>>

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I like it, Yabbit!

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((((((AP)))))) I just wanted to hug you :) I think it was awesome and brave of you to stand up and say "Hey! I'm feeling hurt/offended/etc." I hope you stay in our community because I think you are a cool vegan :)

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