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new vegan - - and i'm the cook for the family.

hey all... being new to this... i have a problem in the kitchen now. 

do any of you have a problem cooking meat now?  i have meat-eaters in the family... but i don't think i could even cook meat anymore.  is this overstepping the bounds in the kitchen?  is it unfair to everyone else?

We've actually got a few threads kicking about on this very topic, so you might want to try searching.

I think general consensus in the past has been "If they don't like it, they can make their own dinner".

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I can't cook meat.  Raw meat kind of grosses me out.  When we (then boyfriend, now husband) first moved in together, he was a meat eater but didn't cook.  I told him he could eat what I prepared but it would be vegan.  If he wanted to eat meat, he would have to buy it, cook it, and clean it up.  So he went vegan at home and only ate meat in restaurants.  The less he ate it, the less he liked it.  He was completely veg within six months.

The way I look at it, if I'm cooking, it's my choice what to prepare.  I don't have any kids, but when I do they will be vegan as well because I prepare the meals.  People talk about giving kids the choice when they're old enough so they feed them meat when they're little, but the way I look at it, where was our choice when we were little?  We weren't fed vegan until we chose meat, so why feed them meat and hope they choose vegan?

I think of the kitchen as my domain.  Everything in there I bought and I use.  If someone wants to eat meat in my house, they need to respect my domain and know that it won't be prepared there unless they bring their own pots/pans etc.  I personally believe it's overstepping bounds to expect one person to cater to everyone else's wants.  If they want meat, they need to cook it themselves.

Sorry about that bit of a rant.  I am really in some kind of mood today...

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Can't do it.  Won't do it.  My mother would even ask me to carve the turkey on Thanksgiving.  Nope, no way.  It's hard enough to sit there and watch people grin with sick delight about carving and eating the carcass of a once intelligent being.  Seriously, if they want meat, tell them to cook their own or suck it.

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Can't do it.  Won't do it.  My mother would even ask me to carve the turkey on Thanksgiving.  Nope, no way.  It's hard enough to sit there and watch people grin with sick delight about carving and eating the carcass of a once intelligent being.  Seriously, if they want meat, tell them to cook their own or suck it.

Well said :)
I don't even let meat in my house, but I'm a little crazier than most.

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i like it... that's what i was looking for.

thanks guys!

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Oh CPC, you stole my thunder! I was going to say to tell them to suck it, too! Seriously! When I lived at home with my parents I refused to cook meat, and I told them they could eat it at restaurants, or cook it themselves. They did a little of both, but mostly just ate vegetarian (what I was at the time). I started cooking for my family at age 12 when I went vegetarian, and it was the only way I could have done it. I was in control in the kitchen. You're in a wonderful situation, a perfect one to change the way the people you love the most are eating. Everyone should be so lucky! You just need to be creative and flexible with your dishes and meals, and your family will see how delicious vegan food is in no time. Good luck!

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I think general consensus in the past has been "If they don't like it, they can make their own dinner".

This!

I'm the daughter of a fab self-strong mom, who (from the time we were 8ish & old enough to make a PBJ) always said, 'I'm making ___, who's interested?' If we weren't interested, we made our own sh*t. I think that's fair... I'm an enthusiastic cook; I make a big mess, and often do all the cleanup. If I'm the one willing to put in the effort, why would I cater to the whim of others, to make stuff I think is gross? That would be silly! It would also facilitate domestic bickering & strife, since this kind of perversion of my cooking skills (such as they are!) would make me quite grouchy & cranky towards others.

If you have youngish kids, or even teens, maybe it'd ease the transition to say 'Ok, guys, after X date, if you want animal junk, it's gonna be a 'fix-it-yourself' kinda deal...' My hub's a flexitarian; I always say 'Want anything in particular from the store?' before shopping, and fetch cheese/ meat/ whatever w/o comment or judgement. But when it comes to my personal effort & energy, in cooking, I feel very comfortable only investing time in food that I'm actually interested in eating.

Like the joke kitchen sign says, 'This ain't Burger King: you don't get it your way.You take it my way or you don't get the damn thing!'  That pretty much sums up my approach to cooking for the fam!  :)

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I'm with the "eat it or fend for yourself" approach.

I too am the cook in the family and I expend a LOT of effort to serve quality (vegan) food. The kids have been a problem but they are becoming converts. My daughter (14) was an ice cream junkie. Now she eats SoyDream and is perfectly happy with it. She looks at ingredients so if she requests something at the store it will be vegan. She does this mostly for my sake.

My son (11) was a huge meat eater. Now he has claimed that he wanted to become vegetarian and now vegan. He falls off the wagon when he eats over at a friend's house. The last time he did he came home and told me that he gave his steak to his friend. He couldn't eat it. It "full of blood". The other day, I asked if he wanted Daiya or real cheese on his sandwich. His mother said, "use the real cheese". My son said, "No. . . I want the vegan cheese. Mom, do you know how cheese is made?" His mother fixed him an egg the other day so he would be well fed for baseball tryouts. It made him nauseous. He claimed it was just the thought of eating the egg that made him nauseous. My wife told me yesterday, "You've ruined my son!"

My kids favorite restaurants are vegan. On my daughter's 14th birthday she got to choose the restaurant. . . it was vegan. That night my son said he was turning vegan.

We all know that once you start eating vegan you lose your appetite for dairy and eggs.

Small but important victories :)

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My wife told me yesterday, "You've ruined my son!"

that made me lol

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wow that sounds like warfare in your house... what's up with your wife? give her a copy of skinny bitch or something... ruined her son? helped her son want to live a healthier life! she'll come around it takes time

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rsw you have great kids!!

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rsw you have great kids!!

I agree! It sounds like they really get it. I wish everyone could catch on so quickly!

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I guess I'm the odd person out here, but I do cook meat for omnis, including my spouse. Vegetarianism is not a moral issue for me, and to me the human relationship thing wins out.

If I were a vegan because I believed meat was murder - that would be different - and I respect those veg*ns who feel differently on this issue than I do.

I do promote a veggie diet actively with omnis - I can be relied upon to give a sales pitch for eating veggie pretty regularly. But, I want it to be their choice to be veg*n - not to feel coerced about it.

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Can't do it.  Won't do it.  My mother would even ask me to carve the turkey on Thanksgiving.  Nope, no way.  It's hard enough to sit there and watch people grin with sick delight about carving and eating the carcass of a once intelligent being.  Seriously, if they want meat, tell them to cook their own or suck it.

Well said :)
I don't even let meat in my house, but I'm a little crazier than most.

I'm with you Erin, I try to keep my kitchen vegan at all times.  My family is pretty good about not bringing over non-vegan stuff, and if someone does  (like I've had my friends bring their kids over and bring goldfish crackers or something,) I make sure they take the rest with them when they leave.  I can't cook any animal products any more and don't even want them in my house.  We've been hosting Christmas /Thanksgiving over here and last year I cooked everyhing, but my family brought over a cooked turkey.  It made me sad, they're soooo "meat and potatoes" but what am I going to do, I just keep sounding like a broken record, and trying to give them new recipes they might like.

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I agree with Anna1111. And I'm a little surprised by everyone else!

I have an omni boyfriend and I cook meat for him all the time. I also have a carnivore cat who i feed gross mushed up canned cat food too. I do it because I love them.

To be fair, my boyfriend only eats local, humanely raised animals... I certainly might feel different if it was something factory farmed.

But, he respects my opinions and I respect his. Thats just the relationship we've always had. He would never ask me to eat meat, and I would never tell him he had to stop eating it.

My boyfriend and my cat are the two most important things in my life. I would never tell them to "fend for themselves".

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I'm the cook in my family, and I will always put the needs of my family first and formost.  They are not all on board with being vegan, yet, but they are coming around.  Twice each night of the week, my wife, step daughter and myself get to choose what we will be having for dinner.  If it is there night and they choose something that doesn't fit in with my eating habits, so be it.  I'll make it for them and something vegan for myself.  We had a problem with my step daughter at first, but since things have gotten alot better.  It has gotten to the point now, that my step daughter, on her 2 nights a week to choose, will put one of those nights as a vegan night just to make me happy.  My wife started doing this same thing 2 weeks ago, so we have gone from 2 nights a week of only vegan meals (my 2 nights to pick) to 4 nights a week.  (we eat out one night a week).  Not much, but it's a start.  FAMILY FIRST AND FORMOST.

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appnigpeelr: People find their own compromises & comfort levels, & everyone's different... but for me, a key consideration is that my cat can't open the can & mash it up himself! My hub & I help each other in different ways, and don't have specific gender-based chore assignments... Generally, he's the go-to guy for laundry, & generally I do more kitcheny stuff; but if he said, hey, it really bothers me to wash clothes made of cotton (or whatever), for ethical reasons, I'd say 'no prob' & happily see to it myself... you know, 'cause I'm a grown-up & all, & don't need someone else to do that for me. If he CHOOSES to throw my laundry in with his, I appreciate it very much, and would never think of saying, hey, you're not doing that the way I like it!... that would be rude and inconsiderate, when it's a voluntary gift of his time in the first place.

I see my cooking for him the same way; it's not my wifely duty to make his food: it's something I enjoy sharing with him. If he didn't appreciate the gift as offered, I'd stop offering it. But of course that's never gonna happen, b/c part of what we have in common is a strong sense of ethics & belief in acting them out... so he'd never ask me to do something I consider an ethical problem, in order to serve him better or something. (eye roll) I wouldn't be who he married, if I'd be ok with that.

As far as 'family first'... well duh! that's why I give 'em healthy vegan food: if my husband or teenage son want clogged-up arteries (or increased cancer risk, or diabetes, or osteoporosis, etc. etc. etc.)... yes indeed, I'm gonna make sure they have to work at it! Anything else would be putting convenience (their momentary pleasure) above their well-being. Why in the world would I do that?

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hotcooknmama: I mostly agree with you, and to me, it sounds like your hubby knew you didnt cook meat when your relationship started, just like when I chose to be in a relationship with my boyfriend, he knew I didnt eat meat and I knew he did. Just like you (I am assuming) the connection we had was more important than those things and we wouldnt want the other person to change.

Having said that, the person who started this thread clearly is bringing something new and unfamiliar into a family/relationship. Something good, I would agree, but I was upset by the people who were suggesting she tell her family to "suck it" if they didn't immediately want to make the change with her. IMO, that is not being a very good vegan ambassador.

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um... he  :-[

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