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How do you deal with upsetting remarks?

I am not 100% vegan, but I cooked only vegan, and drink soya milk, and am very pro veganism. when people get that, they have often negative upsetting remarks. I mean, if it comes from someone at the street, I can understand that, but when it comes from people who are suppose to be educated its a bit upsetting. it makes me be a misonthrop and I dont want that. a few days ago my flatmate asked me since when I am vegan and I started to explain him I am not 100 precent vegan but I want to be etc. he said its good you are not! it rotten the soul, or sth like that. I tried to tell him, vice versa, and what Buddha said about veganism. Buddha should understand in the soul no??? he said that Budda said u need to take a bit of anything. not be extremist. now, I stop the conversation, because those conversations only upset me. I know I am not a good misonar. I dont know how to talk with most people about veganism without getting upset and just labeling them as pure stupid. I would just like to know what to say, because I am left speachless. also when people ask me why I am vegan its hard for me to answer, because for me its obvious everyone should be vegan. for me if ur against animal abuse u will want to be vegan. its so clear to me that I find it hard to talk to people who dont see it at all.
by the way my flatmate is vegeterian, because of the farming industry and all of that!!!
dont tell me pls how to talk to him, I dont want to. I just want to hear how do I deal with such remarks shortly and wisly! and to know how do you deal with such things? would be interest me much!!

Just ignore something like that.  That's what I do in a situation where the other person is clearly not open to veganism.  I'd just say, "Well, this is what I believe, and it works better than anything else for me" and end it there.  I save more thorough discussion for times when the other person is genuinely interested in finding out more about veganism. 

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Just ignore something like that.  That's what I do in a situation where the other person is clearly not open to veganism.  I'd just say, "Well, this is what I believe, and it works better than anything else for me" and end it there.  I save more thorough discussion for times when the other person is genuinely interested in finding out more about veganism. 

I second this. Someone who is completely ignorant to a way of life (such as veganism...etc.) should keep their mouth shut unless they know something about it. They should keep their opinions to themselves. Do not let it bother you. There are a lot of assholes who wont even TRY to understand differences in others lives. Good luck, and i'm proud of you :)

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Remember, your diet and choices are about you, not other people. And that all your well-meant advice would be ignored by the person who doesn't share your concerns. So do the same for him: ignore his remarks. I always envisage a big basket and put all the "junk" people have done/said and imagine it floating away down the river, taking my anger or hurt feelings with it.

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Remember, your diet and choices are about you, not other people. And that all your well-meant advice would be ignored by the person who doesn't share your concerns. So do the same for him: ignore his remarks. I always envisage a big basket and put all the "junk" people have done/said and imagine it floating away down the river, taking my anger or hurt feelings with it.

Doesn't ignoring it when people are mean encourage them to be mean though? Or thoughtless, it's hard to tell the difference with many eaters of animals. Jist of recent conversation that I still need to do something about: "that would buy 3 good steaks!"/ "they weren't very good for the cow..."/ "are you veg*n?"/ "yes"/ why, etc. etc. then: "I am comfortable being an omnivore"
I didn't really understand why he felt the need to say that, since it's a clearly indefensible position. I also can't picture myself not getting back at him somehow, eventually, just so I don't feel so abused =P
It sucks if he's your roommate though...you can't really get revenge.

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I was once very defensive, now I take comments in stride. I let people know that I beleive the way I do so there isn't anything they can say to sway me.

I listen to what they say but otherwise ignore it unless they want a cival conversation.

Like just this morning, a man said vegans and vegetarians can not be American, that We belong on an Island...I just smile to myself, I try to stay away from ignorant conversations unless the people are truly trying to understand.

It still gets on my nerves, but I'd rather not plat the annoying vegan(I let them be the ones that annoy).

Just have confidence in your beliefs.

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prettyin_punk  thanx  :) I am also proud of the people here. its only a shame we are so few and I dont know any vegans around me.

I always envisage a big basket and put all the "junk" people have done/said and imagine it floating away down the river, taking my anger or hurt feelings with it.

lol, that was funny.

Just have confidence in your beliefs.

I am very confident! I have no doubt what so ever that what I do is right (eating more vegan). and I am a person that doubt everything!

I thought about sth the other day. to go around with pictures that I will collect about animal farming always in my purse, and when someone will ask me why, I will show him those pictures. not sth with text that try to convince people. just pictures.

here (germany) its more hard to explain people whats going on in the industry because they see cows and chickens run around free.
every answer to the question why I am vegan sounds to me miserable. doesnt give 1 precent of the real picture. someone who wants to understand that needs to see a whole movie about it and only than understand.

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People say things like that to get you upset, not to understand, so reacting with a sincere explanation usually makes it worse - although I'm a proponent of sarcasm.

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when i told a friend of mine, who is veggie friendly, supportive of me being vegan, that i was thinking of eating more raw food, she said "are you trying to kill yourself?" ha.  it was just so ridiculous i just laughed and said nothing.  when people criticize me about my choices without asking any questions that i could seriously answer, i just let it go and think that i will simply show them why im vegan by never getting sick, feeling great and eating delish meals!  and i did show them! i did not get sick this year and my coworkers were stunned because they all got sick.  HA!  i showed them.

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You don't respond to them being non-vegan, you respond to them making mean comments at you. That doesn't make you an activist, it makes you come out on top :)

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Doesn't ignoring it when people are mean encourage them to be mean though? Or thoughtless, it's hard to tell the difference with many eaters of animals. Jist of recent conversation that I still need to do something about: "that would buy 3 good steaks!"/ "they weren't very good for the cow..."/ "are you veg*n?"/ "yes"/ why, etc. etc. then: "I am comfortable being an omnivore"
I didn't really understand why he felt the need to say that, since it's a clearly indefensible position. I also can't picture myself not getting back at him somehow, eventually, just so I don't feel so abused =P

He probably said it out of insecurity.  I would probably just respond to "I feel comfortable being an omnivore" with a nonchalant "huh" (as if to say, "How 'bout that") or "oh" and shrug .  Like, neither a yes or a no.  Kind of like "Oh, that's nice, don't care."  If you try to fight back even just a little, I feel that gives some sort of satisfaction to the person for getting you defensive.  But if you say, "Well, everyone's different," or something passive like that, with even the slightest affirmation, they will think your views are insubstantial, or that you are willing to compromise them.  If you're ambiguous, they can just go on feeling awkward and insecure, stewing in their own cognitive dissonance.  Hehehe  :devilsmile:

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I was once very defensive, now I take comments in stride. I let people know that I beleive the way I do so there isn't anything they can say to sway me.

I listen to what they say but otherwise ignore it unless they want a cival conversation.

Like just this morning, a man said vegans and vegetarians can not be American, that We belong on an Island...I just smile to myself, I try to stay away from ignorant conversations unless the people are truly trying to understand.

It still gets on my nerves, but I'd rather not plat the annoying vegan(I let them be the ones that annoy).

Just have confidence in your beliefs.

Exactly. It's not about them. And no matter what you say, there's going to be an argument because that's what they want. Don't give them the chance to say more nonsense.

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It's not about them.

Yeah, lame ass comments have EVERYTHING to do with that person's personal insecurities and internal battles.  Nothing to do with the vegans they are talking to.

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when "under attack" i always try to keep in mind that by not eating animal products, vegans are sort of indicating that we think the way omnis eat is wrong. therefore, being vegan might be seen as sort of insulting to the other person (even though we don't mean it that way). i think most of us are understanding of omni-eating, especially since most of us were meateaters once. but when people feel insulted, they tend to become defensive. so i try my best to hold back my anger and be polite while offering as much information as the conversation will allow. plus since there aren't other vegans around here, i unfortunately may be seen as representative of all vegans, so i try to set a "good example."

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I generally just say 'it's my choice and doesn't affect you' or 'it's a personal choice I've made for myself'...if they keep going I usually follow it up with something like ' I hardly think it's any of your busy what I choose to eat' That last one generally will make someone change the subject.

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I generally just say 'it's my choice and doesn't affect you' or 'it's a personal choice I've made for myself'...if they keep going I usually follow it up with something like ' I hardly think it's any of your busy what I choose to eat' That last one generally will make someone change the subject.

The applauding smiley seems to have dissapeared so,  ;)b ;)b, pooh bear!

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I generally just say 'it's my choice and doesn't affect you' or 'it's a personal choice I've made for myself'...if they keep going I usually follow it up with something like ' I hardly think it's any of your busy what I choose to eat' That last one generally will make someone change the subject.

The applauding smiley seems to have dissapeared so,  ;)b ;)b, pooh bear!

Ugh, typo! Instead of 'I hardly think it's any of your busy what I choose to eat' I meant to say ' I hardly think it's any of your business what I choose to eat' I really need to proof read, I'm so bad about typos! Oh well, I think you got what I was trying to say anyway  :P :)

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Doesn't ignoring it when people are mean encourage them to be mean though? Or thoughtless, it's hard to tell the difference with many eaters of animals. Jist of recent conversation that I still need to do something about: "that would buy 3 good steaks!"/ "they weren't very good for the cow..."/ "are you veg*n?"/ "yes"/ why, etc. etc. then: "I am comfortable being an omnivore"
I didn't really understand why he felt the need to say that, since it's a clearly indefensible position. I also can't picture myself not getting back at him somehow, eventually, just so I don't feel so abused =P

He probably said it out of insecurity.  I would probably just respond to "I feel comfortable being an omnivore" with a nonchalant "huh" (as if to say, "How 'bout that") or "oh" and shrug .  Like, neither a yes or a no.  Kind of like "Oh, that's nice, don't care."  If you try to fight back even just a little, I feel that gives some sort of satisfaction to the person for getting you defensive.  But if you say, "Well, everyone's different," or something passive like that, with even the slightest affirmation, they will think your views are insubstantial, or that you are willing to compromise them.  If you're ambiguous, they can just go on feeling awkward and insecure, stewing in their own cognitive dissonance.  Hehehe  :devilsmile:

That might have been easier had we been face to face instead of talking online. I hope he was feeling insecure, he should! Heh.

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