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Series of Unfortunate Sexcapades

Have you ever had a sexual experience that didn't go quite as imagined or planned? Has it ever led to an embarrassing discovery or a trip to the ER? Have you ever had an experience that just left you amused later?

:) Have at it, you sex fiends.

My first go at sex was with one of my friends of 2 1/2 years. He had had a crush on me that whole time, but I didn't return any attraction. He had come to visit me twice after I had moved across country, during which time I decided to give having a relationship with him a chance. Well, one thing led to another, and we were actually going to go at it. For starters, both of us were inexperienced, so that did not help.. Then, to make things better, he couldn't keep it up! He was too nervous. I understood and tried to not find it humorous. The next day, we were driving around town hanging out and I went to look something up on his iphone. It's set up to show what page it was last on.. which was a search for how to stay erect..  :cactus:

;D

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Haha oh dear! I hope the info helped him at least!

That erect cactus frightens me.

I can't think of any funny stories like that at the moment...

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I read a book called Tales from the emergency room.  A few of those tales were sex related.  One was a couple role playing.  The girl was handcuffed to the bed. The guy was naked except for a cape, got on the dresser and was going to jump on the bed.  He missed, hit his head and passed out.  I can't remember all the details, but somehow someone got in the house to hel them......she was naked and handcuffed to the bed and he was in a cape passed out on the floor.

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I read a book called Tales from the emergency room.  A few of those tales were sex related.  One was a couple role playing.  The girl was handcuffed to the bed. The guy was naked except for a cape, got on the dresser and was going to jump on the bed.  He missed, hit his head and passed out.  I can't remember all the details, but somehow someone got in the house to hel them......she was naked and handcuffed to the bed and he was in a cape passed out on the floor.

Mmmmhm. In a "book." I read that "book," too.

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Mom walking in is always great...

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damn you AC, it was in a book!!!  I swear

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I read a book called Tales from the emergency room.  A few of those tales were sex related.  One was a couple role playing.  The girl was handcuffed to the bed. The guy was naked except for a cape, got on the dresser and was going to jump on the bed.  He missed, hit his head and passed out.  I can't remember all the details, but somehow someone got in the house to hel them......she was naked and handcuffed to the bed and he was in a cape passed out on the floor.

:) That is amazing. My roommates actually had to take a trip to the ER one time. Apparently, they were having sex and somehow head butted. The girl passed out. When she finally woke up, she had no idea where she was or even who her boyfriend was. Haha.. that would suck explaining that to the hospital attendents.

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lol...

imagine having to take public transit up to the ER after getting a vacuum cleaner stuck to yourself!!!

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This is not a sexcapade (involving me..), but the vacuum cleaner reminded me. I once had a boyfriend who tried to explain to me (over the phone) why he had a hickey on his neck. He said he made a bet with a friend that a vacuum wouldn't make a hickey. :wow:

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lol...

imagine having to take public transit up to the ER after getting a vacuum cleaner stuck to yourself!!!

Um, is this out of personal experience?  ;)

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lol...

imagine having to take public transit up to the ER after getting a vacuum cleaner stuck to yourself!!!

yeah, do tell!

one of my clients is a nurse in the ER, and we got into a conversation about the weirdest things people had stuck in their butts.  The one that made me laugh the most was a bottle of Pepto Bismal

Um, is this out of personal experience?  ;)

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lol...

imagine having to take public transit up to the ER after getting a vacuum cleaner stuck to yourself!!!

yeah, do tell!

one of my clients is a nurse in the ER, and we got into a conversation about the weirdest things people had stuck in their butts.  The one that made me laugh the most was a bottle of Pepto Bismal

Um, is this out of personal experience?  ;)

Huh. I wonder if the pepto was for sexual reasons, or because they were so desperate for curing their intestinal upset that they put one bottle down both ends D:

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kill 2 birds with 1 stone maybe???

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Once Dh and I just happened to be doing it "doggie style" and our dog got up on the bed (she was fixed) and started imitating us. Right. Next. To. Us.
;D

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One time we were in the missionary position and we did not realize that our son was standing next to the bed (4 ys old maybe?) until he said, "what ARE you doing?" with great emphasis on the ARE.

lol!

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One of my first BFs was pretty much a virgin when we met and for 6 months he used to "finish" within about 5 seconds. I put up with that for a long time! It was worth it though, because once he got the hang of it, it was really good.

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Jizz up the nose burns.

That is all.

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Catski, the 'flaming dragon', eh?

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More like the disgruntled Cat. I recall pawing at my nose and saying 'mew' a lot.

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