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Orgasms

I have a shameful secret.  I have never had one.  Not by myself, with a partner, through oral, with toys... never!!

I'm bloody 40 for heaven's sake

Advice please  :(

Relax.
Go to the store.
Buy the best vibrator money can buy.
? ? ? ?
Profit.

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Buy a Hitachi.

Try new things?

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fuck... toys always get me off even when i'm drunk... boys not too much unless i truly dig them and am sober...

gotta find your "G Spot" once you locate that you're golden, good luck!

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What have you tried? Do you currently have a partner you feel comfortable exploring with?

Though I haven't gone through it yet, I like Margot Anand's other books enough to get both her Art of Sexual Ecstacy book and the workbook. She even has one devoted to Orgasms, now ;).
I find her writing direct and clear with a nice, relaxed, conversive tone.

Have you tried erotic massage? Maybe the points that turn you on aren't the typical, I've had some partners go nuts whilst stroking an armpit, or that little part of the back of the ear, where it meets the head. The back of the hand, ears, ankles, small of the back, and any "u" point in the joints (knees, elbows, etc) are common erotic pressure points, often overlooked. Play with textures (rough, soft, velvet, cotton, silky, wet, dry, etc) and temperatures too.

It has been shown in medical studies from the late 90's that for many women, if they are not COMPLETELY comfortable and trust who they're with, their G spot will not swell. It is also a common misconception that the harder you push on it, the better it feels, often times, it only takes a tickle to get going, and it saves your fingers from getting tired!

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If you've never, ever had one or come close, I would strongly suggest seeing a gynae you trust about some hormone tests. Your levels could be way off, and there could be something medical they could do to help.
Just a thought.

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I didn't have my first O until I finally realized what it took (for me):

1) Get comfortable in bed (by yourself)
2) Close your eyes and let yourself imagine the sexiest, wildest, horniest, whatever, fantasy that excites you. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed of whatever it is, because it's only inside your head and no one else has to know what it is! Be detailed, and tell yourself a story inside your head because that's how a lot of women (myself included) get excited.
3) Get a vibrator
4) Use it however it feels nice to you  ;)b

The mental imagery is KEY. Once I finally realized that, I was golden. BTW I've still not found my g-spot, but you definitely don't need to know where it is in order to have an O!

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If you've never, ever had one or come close, I would strongly suggest seeing a gynae you trust about some hormone tests. Your levels could be way off, and there could be something medical they could do to help.
Just a thought.

Yeah, I agree with this.  I assume you have tried everything and it is probably something to bring up to a really nice, understanding doctor.

Also, sympathies to you.  That really sucks.  :(

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