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The Moratorium Auditorium: In Which We Unite In Shunning Inadequacy

Crossover from the open letters thread!

Represent.

:-*

Updates!  When is the move?

I'm sad this thread is losing its members.  All the key players are gone or paired.  I wish I had something to add!  Let's see, last weekend I got to go to NYC and spend the weekend with K and his family, which was lots of fun.

Damn it, we need someone to tell funny stories about going on dates with inadequate boys!

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I don't have dating stories, but I wore a new shirt to work today.  It was a standard office shirt, but appealing ladies flirted with me when I ran errands.  And one man.  The power of the shirt.

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*sigh...* WELL....G has told me in no uncertain terms that 'we' are over....He also stated that if we had met 7 years earlier, we'd probably be married by now....BUT he's too jaded now. We've had tears, I'm still very sad about it, but I do understand. It is just....what do you say to/how do you act/talk to a person who you've been seriously involved with for over two years??? We do still love each other, and are still sharing a bed....just no kisses and very little touching, we hug during the day and will hold hands while initially in bed. Last week, he introduced me as his friend....that is the first time he hasn't referred to me as his g/f.
G is trying to get a jazz group together, the drummer is kinda cute....He is interested in me but (knowing G and I live together, and I referred to Briggs as 'our' cat) is nervous to make any moves. To be honest, I'm not really in a rush to get involved with anyone atm.
Gnome is wanting to get back together, I haven't told him that G and I have broken up simply to avoid the subject. I have lost nearly ALL sexual attraction towards him, and have yet to get the balls to tell him this.
I think I'm sort of done with guys for now, and want to be with a woman when I'm ready.
Guess I'm still recovering from the rape.
There is a cute girl who works at the produce store I go to, she just happens to always be the one who rings me up for the past couple of weeks, and she does remember me and certain details....We've kinda flirted back and forth....maybe in the near future I will ask her when she gets off and ask if she'd like to go somewhere/hang out and get to know each other outside of her work place, or just give her my card.
So I guess I'm a start to the 'second generation' of this thing?

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han, I'm sorry.  That's hard.  I think the seven years earlier line is *cough*bullshit*cough*.  I don't understand why people do that.  If you're revitilizing this thread you should post about everything.  I have no idea how to pick up on someone.  At all.  All of the picking up that I've been involved with has been initiated by the other party. 

A drummer or a produce girl.  You can't go wrong either way.  ^-^ 

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han, I'm sorry.  That's hard.  I think the seven years earlier line is *cough*bullshit*cough*.  I don't understand why people do that.  If you're revitilizing this thread you should post about everything.  I have no idea how to pick up on someone.  At all.  All of the picking up that I've been involved with has been initiated by the other party. 

Yeah, it does sound like BS to me too.

I'm also not good at picking people up and have only initiated it once, but to great success.  Give it a go, all they can say is no.

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I don't have dating stories, but I wore a new shirt to work today.  It was a standard office shirt, but appealing ladies flirted with me when I ran errands.  And one man.  The power of the shirt.

heh heh heh, excellent! post a pick of this shirt b/c i want to get one!

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I wish it was worth taking a picture of, but it's just a white button-up shirt.  :perplexed shrug:  Maybe it wasn't the shirt, maybe it was just me.  :coy shrug:

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definitely you, hh.

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;D  :)>>>

Aw, shucks.

eta:  I'm also perplexed about how to flirt, but I'm told that I do it.  Maybe I initiated the flirting.  Most of my friends were guys during the formative years where girls learn these things in packs.  I missed out on learning how to fix my hair, apply makeup, coordinate outfits, and flirt.  I think that I may flirt, but not in accordance with female party line, so I don't identify it as such.  I need to harness this skill and use it for good.

eta2:  Like, I think of traditional flirting as acting stupid.  Which is so unsexy I can't even begin.

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HH.....I'm kinda tossing around the idea of writing a kinda 'instructional' book along the lines of A Tomboy's Guide to Being a 'Girlie-Girl' It would cover things like make-up application, coordination, removal; etiquette; what fabrics are good for certain weather; how to get stains out, etc. Basically, everything I've learned in the 'Li'l Miss Manners' classes my parents forced on me for fear of me becoming TOO MUCH of a tomboy....And the little cheats I've figured out along the way. Would this appeal to you?

The way I flirt is to simply be myself and ask the person quirky questions, and about myself. In other words I act as natural as possible. Although my inner pterodactyl has a way breaking the ice!

As for the picking up of/on....well I tend to attract the 40+y/o crowd more than those who're actually  IN my age range. Right now....I'm kinda afraid to leave the house simply because my breasts are in their larger stage of my cycle and 80% of my summer clothes/tops are too small to the point where they are literally falling out....And like I said, I'm don't really have the desire to be with anyone right now. Though flirting can be fun!!

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Parts of it appeal.  I'm not into makeup because I do fieldwork and it'd melt off, I buy clothes that won't show stains (again, because of work), and my parents made me learn ettiquette - which I don't apply it often, but that's on purpose.  I'm really just stumped about moving beyond flirting.  If what I do really is flirting, I like it.  A lot of times that's all I want because it's fun.  But I don't know how to be the one to initiate the move beyond that.  I don't like having to rely on the other person.  

I totally understand breaks, but if you find yourself attracted to someone you should document it here.   ;)b

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So I've returned from my visit with cams.  I'm happy that I made it safely, but I'm sad that I won't see him for a while.  We had such a great visit!  There was much joy!  :)  I got to meet his kitties, of course, and they were awesome.  I tried to kidnap them in my luggage, but he caught me.  :(  Hmm.  Let's see.  What did we do?  Well, the first night I was there I tried some beer that he brewed.  It was really good.  He tried to get me drunk, of course.  ;)  We watched some movies.  He had never seen The Wedding Singer and I love that movie, so I brought that.  We played Uno.  He has mad Uno skillz and I lost.  :P  We took a few field trips to the awesome co-op that I'm totally jealous about and cooked for each other and cooked together sometimes too.  That was really fun.  I played tennis for the first time.  Cams is a good teacher!  :)  We went climbing at his rock gym one day then ran in to BP, DR, and LF at this pizza restaurant with vegan cheese.  ;)b  We camped in the Adirondacks for a couple nights.  We had the most wonderful hike there.  There were beautful views and lots of pretty mushrooms as well.  I took about a million pictures of mushrooms.  It was an obsession.  We lost the trail and and ended up scaling some vines down a hill to get back to the road.  It was awesome.  I took cams to his very first yoga class.  It was cool.  The teacher mentioned the lotus and we smiled at each other.  :)>>>      We hung out with BP and DR some and met RC at her awesome house while she made cookies and ice cream for the potluck.  Oh! Cams is an excellent cook...except he never uses lids for anything.  ;)  He made his peanut butter tempeh one night.  It was really good.  The recipe is on vw and everyone should try it.  But, it's spicy, so if you're a wimp like me, use less spice.  ;)  He also got up saturday morning and baked banana cherry scones.  They were really yummy.  His tofu scramble is very good, as well.

So as you can see, we had a wonderful visit.  It was very hard to leave him and the kitties yesterday morning.  There will be many more visits in the future.  :flower:   

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;)b x 25

With the paycuts I'm only making it month-to-month right now, down to the wire.  The reason it's a problem is because it cuts in to my ability to travel next summer when I'm in Maine for my friend's wedding.  I REALLY hope that my tax return is large enough to cover my property tax and getting to the alb.  I need to meet all of these people, too.

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Sigh... living with Lotus for almost 2 weeks was better than I could have hoped.  It is needless to say, but I will be down in S.C. again to see her.

HH- you just have to make it!  Screw taxes, come visit!

P.S. HH, I am getting tons of people complaining to me that CA is getting backed up with paperwork... I bet it is pretty fun for you right now  ::)

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I'm paid entirely through permit fees and I'm furloughed.  All that happens is that people are paying the same amount of money for less and slower service.  The state can't take the permit fees and move them into the General Fund, so there's no benefit to the state to do this except for to appease the masses.  Super low employee morale doesn't help speed things along, either.

New York is close to Maine, so I'm still hoping to make it there.  I really wanted to go to Asheville, hippy town of the east, but the southern leg of my trip is looking more and more unlikely.  If I'm that close to you all and don't get to see you I'll implode.  Especially since I'm missing Sconefest and it's in my very own state.

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I'm paid entirely through permit fees and I'm furloughed.  All that happens is that people are paying the same amount of money for less and slower service.  The state can't take the permit fees and move them into the General Fund, so there's no benefit to the state to do this except for to appease the masses.  Super low employee morale doesn't help speed things along, either.

New York is close to Maine, so I'm still hoping to make it there.  I really wanted to go to Asheville, hippy town of the east, but the southern leg of my trip is looking more and more unlikely.  If I'm that close to you all and don't get to see you I'll implode.  Especially since I'm missing Sconefest and it's in my very own state.

POO!
Just save up for gas. you can stay at my house for free and eat for free so asheville wont cost you a dime-just gas.
Im starting to think you don't really exist, HH. The promises of visits, and then pulling out at the last minute! I said "pulling out!"

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Im starting to think you don't really exist, HH. The promises of visits, and then pulling out at the last minute! I said "pulling out!"

that's what she said

I know.  Tomorrow I get my last Netflix in the mail.  I'm canceling my subscription, which is major for me.  Last month I overspent my paycheckl by $3.  And I didn't go anywhere.  This month I have my grandma's b-day party to drive to.  In December I get a 5% raise, so hopefully that will help me break even.  From here to December I'm going to be in a deficit each month that I'll have to make up.  And no one is hiring part-time help or I'd get a second job.  I want to be a real girl!

http://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:xImdI3I8UoR4EM:http://images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2004/09/14/inside-disney-pinnochio.jpg

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ugh!!

um yeah....yesterday I got a really great email from gnome, asking if he could be out of the 'proverbial dog house' now....he had a 'shitty friend' moment a few years ago that has really made it difficult for me to trust him there was a moment where I really needed him, and he just wasn't there and made me feel even worse....in his email, he offered dinner as an olive branch....then I told him I'm no longer attracted to him....we'll see what happens next. I love him and we both miss the conversations we used to have with the other....but since his baby and just life, the freedom has disappeared.

To top it all off....I'm thinking that my last period was actually a miscarriage....It would have been G's....I don't really know who/have anyone to talk to about this....I don't know if I should tell G or not....most of my friends are mutual so I'm not comfortable talking to them about it without telling him first.

I'd normally talk to gnome about this, but given the current situation, I don't know if this is a possibility.

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I'm sorry about your maybe miscarriage.  It's not about whether or not you would have wanted to be pregnant.  It's about, I don't know how to explain it.  That.  If you know what I'm talking about.

Are you going to dinner?  If so, it's more going to be like catching up with an old friend whom you may not see again for a while.  I have a friend like that (but with less history) and it's good conversation but I'm left feeling hollow because if it's so good, and we connect so well, then why can't he prioritize any time for me.  gnome (and soon to be my friend) have a baby, but they also have cell phones.  While gnome is running errands with said baby he could call.  There are ways to keep in touch if people want.  Reconnect, but be careful, eh?

((han))  You have a lot going on right now. 

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Thank you HH

well, I told G two nights ago.....Until I explained my reason for telling him (ie to prevent the grapevine effect) he told me he wasn't sure if I was making it up and then blamed me for 'pressuring him'.....needless to say, we finally had the official 'break-up argument' afterwards. We're now back to being civil.

Yesterday, a 'brother' (and now fellow vw'er) from my church who's in a similar place in the breakup process as G and me w/ his fiancee (with the exception of her being unstable and somewhat violent) called.....we already arranged for him to be staying here next week for a bit. He needed to have it moved up....immediately. It was the first time G met him....Yeah....as G stated, "He's pretty." I'm not sure how active he is on the boards, nor do I know his handle on here. So details will be at a minimum.

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