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A Pet's Diary-Funny!

This had me in tears.  Enjoy!  ;D ;D

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
    Day 983 of my captivity.
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since
it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
    I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormenters by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -
and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate
with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe.  For now...

worst thing is.. if ya think about it sorta seems true!! lol jk jk this thing is awesome=)


Hahaha. :D I love it! So very true.


I took this into my senior swin class a few month ago and read it to them--they laughed so hard! I remember reading it to them and not being able to make it through w/o struggling with laughter!

Thanks for posting that--it's hilirious! :D :D :D


Good one.


    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

OMG! Me too!

(Sorry... Its really late and I couldnt resist )  ;)

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