Need someones advice..I'm shocked
For the past week, I had been emailing back and forth with a woman a bit away from me whose ad I saw on Craigs List while she was trying to find a home for her blind, 3 year old dachshund.
We instantly got along, conversed back and forth about Reggie's needs and if we were suitable for him and could provide for him. She said he needed a lot of attention, and since my husband and I both work from home, we would be able to provide him with the attention and assistance he needed. She also said our lifestyle and schedule were perfect for him, so she said today she would bring him out to give him to us.
As soon as she got here, and realized I was younger than her, she sort of gave me an odd attitude, I never specified my age with her because I didn't think that was important. My husband is 23 and I'm 20..we're set financially and are able to provide necessary care to our child, and our pets, I had vet references for her. I told her before she came out that we were redoing our house..that it was a fixer upper that my landlord was letting us live in for free to do the repairs..as in the outside deck has to be repaired, but nothing is unsafe..
So the woman comes, has Reggie, and I told her my dogs were inside and I'd bring them out one at a time on the leash, because they get happy around new people and like to jump up and kiss. So I decide to bring my oldest dog out Mia, who YES is a PITBULL, not the devild, and said "Um is that a pitbull?!"
I told her yeah, but she had nothing to worry about that she is harmless, and she says "I don't think this is going to work, your house has a bit too much activiity for Reggie, and your dogs are way too big, I'm not used to being around big dogs"
Um, what does it matter if SHE is used to being around big dogs?? Reggie was fine, and Mia was fine with him, and she saw pictures four days days ago of my dogs and had no problem. She really just had Reggie miss out on going to a great home because she stereotyped a breed..I want to send her an email asking what the problem really is because she said we were a perfect fit..or are people that ignorant and close minded not even worth trying to reason with?
Oh, that sucks. I thought it sounded like a great fit -he would have 2 big, silly older brothers to keep him entertained and serve as chew toys. My only advice is to humor her, be nice and make sure she knows you'll still be interested if she changes her mind/ comes to her senses. You could suggest meeting at a dog park to allow the dogs time to get familiar with each other and her time to see that big does not mean aggressive. Honestly, it usually means mellow and good-natured. If you are more subtle than I am, ask if she has other options and emphasize how difficult it is to place a blind, energetic, 3 year old dog, while pointing out that you both have the dog's best interests at heart.
Oh, that sucks. I thought it sounded like a great fit -he would have 2 big, silly older brothers to keep him entertained and serve as chew toys. My only advice is to humor her, be nice and make sure she knows you'll still be interested if she changes her mind/ comes to her senses. You could suggest meeting at a dog park to allow the dogs time to get familiar with each other and her time to see that big does not mean aggressive. Honestly, it usually means mellow and good-natured. If you are more subtle than I am, ask if she has other options and emphasize how difficult it is to place a blind, energetic, 3 year old dog, while pointing out that you both have the dog's best interests at heart.
That's what I was thinking, I mean she barely gave the dogs to even play, she just freaked out that Mia was a pitbull, and she is completely harmless, seriously, she runs away when a fly lands on her.. I feel like this woman was just completely judgemental and overprotective. I think I'm a little too offended and bummed that we couldn't give Reggie a home, but I will check up on him in a few days or in a week or two, because I really hope he does get a great home, even if it's not with me.
why is this woman giving the dog up?
in her defense though, if I had to give my dogs up for any reason (that would never happen, but...) I can't even imagine how psychotic I would be about it....no one would be good enough to take my babies...but then again, I would never give them up, so I don't really know how to take it....
I'm sure you're a wonderful person and are completely secure in your life/relationship/home whatever, but I would still have a hard time giving my dogs to someone much younger than me...I realize that it's not a fair judgement, but I still think I would feel that way....so I kinda see where she might be coming from, even though it's probably not fair to you...
I do hope she either comes around or is able to find a home for this dog just as loving....
why is this woman giving the dog up?
in her defense though, if I had to give my dogs up for any reason (that would never happen, but...) I can't even imagine how psychotic I would be about it....no one would be good enough to take my babies...but then again, I would never give them up, so I don't really know how to take it....
I'm sure you're a wonderful person and are completely secure in your life/relationship/home whatever, but I would still have a hard time giving my dogs to someone much younger than me...I realize that it's not a fair judgement, but I still think I would feel that way....so I kinda see where she might be coming from, even though it's probably not fair to you...
I do hope she either comes around or is able to find a home for this dog just as loving....
Age shouldn't matter, and of course it probably did to her, that's fine, but she made it seem like she wasn't letting him stay with us because I have a very large pitbull, and that upsets me more than anything that Mia was automatically judged as some killing machine.
She was rehoming Reggie because she doesn't have time for him and has too many health problems apparently (an allergy of some sort that makes him break out on his chest and his blindness).
perhaps she is reconsidering rehoming her dog entirely. though it's not great for her to think that your home is not suitable just because you are younger than her and have a pit bull, perhaps she was already on the fence and feeling guilty about giving away her dog because of his medical conditions. Who knows, maybe you having a "scary" dog was just the thing she needed to realize she wanted to keep her dog (after feeling all over-protective of him). In the end, it might turn out to be the best thing for him.
But who knows. It sounds like an odd situation that someone feels they can't deal with their dog's allergy and blindness, yet is looking out for his safety in another context. Maybe she can't financially afford to care for him?
Anyway, if she is serious about rehoming her dog, hopefully she will come around and select the best environment for him, based more on the actual conditions and less on the superficial aspects.
If it were me, I would also check up on the situation in a while. Who knows.
I can sympathize with the woman (unless she's motivated by convenience instead of necessity....in which case, she can burn in Hell! >:D...I kid...I don't believe in Hell...but I digress), but since she's at the point of advertising on Craigs List to find a home for this guy I imagine she doesn't have many options. I hope faunablues is right and she's considering keeping him. I suspect it's more likely she'll dump him at a shelter and tell herself he'll get adopted, but I'd love to be wrong.
Age is no barometer of devotion. To me, a willing family that has experience with dogs and a proven track record of keeping them into old age would look pretty good. Please tell me you didn't recently adopt both your pit bull and boxer palemaman. ??? All you can do is stress that you're committed to integrating him into the family and hope for the best. Would you be open to giving her limited "visiting rights" or scheduling a few play dates at the park to allay her concerns about Mia? Sometimes it just doesn't work out. I hope he finds a good home regardless.
I can sympathize with the woman (unless she's motivated by convenience instead of necessity....in which case, she can burn in Hell! >:D...I kid...I don't believe in Hell...but I digress), but since she's at the point of advertising on Craigs List to find a home for this guy I imagine she doesn't have many options. I hope faunablues is right and she's considering keeping him. I suspect it's more likely she'll dump him at a shelter and tell herself he'll get adopted, but I'd love to be wrong.
Age is no barometer of devotion. To me, a willing family that has experience with dogs and a proven track record of keeping them into old age would look pretty good. Please tell me you didn't recently adopt both your pit bull and boxer palemaman. ??? All you can do is stress that you're committed to integrating him into the family and hope for the best. Would you be open to giving her limited "visiting rights" or scheduling a few play dates at the park to allay her concerns about Mia? Sometimes it just doesn't work out. I hope he finds a good home regardless.
She said she felt terrible about him being at home all the time, with very little attention. I'd hate to see him end up at the pound, they have a 60-70% euthanasia rate here. I've had my boxer since she was 8 weeks old, and Mia we adopted a long while ago, I think I'm going to give it a few days and then send her an email, she didn't allow the dogs to get acqainted at all. She just kind of scooped him up and seemed fairly flustered, I do hope she plans on keeping him or finds him a really great home.
I can sympathize with the woman (unless she's motivated by convenience instead of necessity....in which case, she can burn in Hell! >:D...I kid...I don't believe in Hell...but I digress)....
;D Well said!
Palemaman, that sucks... my dear sweet little old mum once had a big tough-lookin pit bull, who was a total love-sponge & never met a single creature-- human, canine, feline, whatever!-- who wasn't his best friend... we passed him off as a boxer many times to non-dog-savvy guests, after which point they always found him delightful... prejudice is SO stupid!
Especially when it means denying a special-needs pup a perfect home...
I like the advice here about wait/ watch/ offer playdates/ make sure she knows you're still interested if she changes her mind... maybe she's just having a short-term freak-out.
(Sucks, though!) :-/
Well she emailed me saying that my home was too small ( i have a 3/4 acre yard all fenced in) and that she wasn't comfortable giving him to a younger couple because younger couples change their mind too often and didn't want to see him go to the pound... and then she reposted him on craigs list saying this:
"If I can't find him the best home ever, he will just have to suffer with me for his natural life. " .. she'd rather him suffer than give us any chance of providing him a loving, forever home?
Well, that's a shame. I hope she realizes that a 3 year old has a lot of years left. If you email her again, you could point out that you've had your dogs for years and that your yard is fenced. It sounds like her mind is made up, but you never know. If she intends to keep him, he probably doesn't have it too bad. She does seem invested in his well-being.
Years ago I tried to adopt a terrier with behavioral problems -I was in my 30's, a homeowner (with a fenced yard), had dogs and experience with aggressive terriers and was turned down . I don't know what more they could have wanted! Instead, we ended up adopting a little dog we found on Petfinder, from a tiny, overworked, shelter in West Virginia. I hope the terrier found a home, but I love my Miles Monroe! http://dogsofcelestun.blogspot.com/2008/08/miles.html
More recently, we had someone ask if we would take their dog, because they couldn't afford to feed him, but they changed their mind when they realized he'd be neutered. ??? I would have been happy to offer the "owner" a little trim as well. >:( Ah well, sometimes you just have to let things go.
Well, pitbulls have gotten a lot of bad press, unfortunately. One of my nephews has a pitbull named Soldier. Soldier takes an aggressive stance when you're new, but once he's assured that you're safe, he's a spoiled baby. A little big for a lapdog, but he wanted to be on my lap. LOL!
Savvyidler: Someone turned down your home because their dog would be neutered: YIKES! What gross ignorance! Human males are so attached to their "favourite organ" that they think other species must be as well, and don't realize that they (the dogs, that is) are happier, healthier and safer without these "organs."