March of Dimes
Posted by deuceO on Jan 26, 2007 · Member since Nov 2006 · 548 posts
one of my non-veg*n friends is a HUGE supporter of the MOD. Her first born died just hours after being born due to severe medical problems. She now organizes a huge group of people to go to the Walk America every October (I could never go because of my schedule but I donated money) and she does something in the spring. Then I became more aware of the horrible animal testing they do and I do NOT want to give anymore financial support. I am all for research on birth defects etc. but this reseach can be done without the suffering of another living thing. Now I am concerned how to break this to my friend, who (I love her dearly) thinks MOD charities is great. Why oh why could she not support the Easter Seals?? :-\
She lost her child! And like it or not, when you think of charities involved in researching infants' health issues, MOD is the first one to come to mind (at least for me). Have you tried to talk to her about the other, more animal friendly options? I don't know much about any of these charities, so I can't help there. As for not wanting to donate to MOD anymore, that's understandable since you know more about it now. I would take the time to talk to her in person, and explain that you agree with her about researching birth defects, but that you'd feel more comfortable supporting ES or whatever. Unless she asks for specific reasons, I would gloss over the animal testing that you found about, but be honest that it is the animal testing that bothers you. Is it possible that the MOD is more vocal about and does more research into the specific problem that caused your friend to lose her baby? If that's the case, then I can honestly see why she supports them. I hope that I'm not coming off as a b**** here. I'm not meaning to.
I should have stressed in my inital post that I am not at all trying to minimize the loss of her child. It was a horrible thing to go thru for her and her husband and I can no way imagine the pain they felt.
She chose MOD because the hospital had a lot of literature about them, I don't think MOD had anything directly to do with her. And, it is the first charity that comes to mind with this kind of thing. God, I Just reread my first post and I'm the one that sounds like a b****! Sorry! Lossing a child is something no parent should have to go through, I just wish the general public was more eduated on charities. I would rather not bring this up to her, because it is understandly a touchy subject. I just was looking for a nice way to decline when she asks me to participate or donate again.
Why don't you make a donation to a charity you wish to support, in honour of your friends child... maybe on child's birthday. Most charities send out a little thank-you card which you can forward to your friend.
When you friend asks for a donation the MOD remind your friend of your early donation to another charity. If she keeps pushing for a donation, then bring up your issues with MOD.
That's what I'd do...
K^2
I don't think like you sound like a b**** at all. You sound like a loving persn who wants to support her friend, but doing so in this manner(MOD) interferes w/ your morlas. Furthermore it sounds like she is basing her decision to rais money for MOD with a lack of information. If it is possible gather some info for her. Pamplets about MOD, maybe not the realy grafic ones. Also assemble some literatur about Easter Seals and possible fund raisers she could support. If your time is permiting you could offer to help her organize somthing.
I would like to hear back from you if you try this rout.
I am about to embark on the same type of trial and am glad that you posted this topic. One of my friends first child was born prem.(very healthy 3 year old now) and is a big supporter of MOD. I was not aware of how bad they are until recently. I am hoping that she sees this for what I mean it to be and not an attack. My mother died from breast cancer and I would be crushed if I found out that an organization I supported did research of this kind.
Some people just need to be informed so they can make an educated decision.
Hi,
I don't have a lot of time (not at home...but checking in on my laptop), I just wanted to post these for you:
For a list of charities that don't do any animal testing:
http://www.humaneseal.org/
once again PCRM on MOD:
http://www.pcrm.org/resch/charities/mod.html
PCRM on charities
http://www.pcrm.org/resch/charities/index.html
hope this helps!
-dave
Thanks Davedrum. I think these will be very useful for me. This such a hard topic to aproach for some people :(
I agree with what K2 suggested to you, and that's kind of the point I was trying to make. I'm 36 weeks pregnant, and, how horrible that anyone has to go through a loss like that. :'( I didn't mean to imply that I thought you were a b****, because I think you sound like a really great friend. In a situation like that, most people would be most comfortable kind of exiting the life of the person going through that. I think its admirable that you are there, and care to delicately approach this touchy subject.
Your friend wants to do something to honor her child with. Perhaps if she were to discover that contributing to MOD is not honorable (she's probably pretty sensitive to suffering of any kind), she would be glad to discontinue her support and put it somewhere that would truly bring honor the her child's memory. I would recommend coming to her with a suggestion of where to turn her support, so she doesn't have the feeling of another loss.