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Dogs and Cats...personal diary

Here's something to make you laugh and smile today  :)!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up
my
strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet.
I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors

have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe..for now...

ha ha, i always laugh at this. my cats are like the dog almost.

morning: pin mom in bed by sleeping strategically around her legs. or by her head in efforts to get her to roll over and surrender the pillow. know she dislikes disturbing our slumber. look annoyed when she gets up and wakes us up. if i want fresh dry food, sit by face and paw her, crying, until she gets up and gives me some.

-sit on lap at computer and help type morning messages. purr loudly to express content. look annoyed when kicked off for being tooo distracting. return a short time later to curl up for a lap nap. purr loudly.

daytime: look out window and be lazy. eat dry food and poo a lot. sleep in various spots in efforts to cover apartment in fur

when mom gets home, follow her around crying for wet food. dance as she makes her way to the fridge. purr loudy as food is consumed.

the the day repeats in backwards order--back on my lap as i work, back to pinning me in bed...oye!

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LMAO. My room mate peeked her head in here because I let out the biggest laugh when I hit the first line of the cat's diary. "Day 683 of my captivity." Hahahaha.

Thanks for posting this ;D I needed a laugh.

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That put a great big smile on my face.
Thanks!
:D

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DAVEDRUM - can I send your insightful text to my dad?

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HA!!! lol, the cat's diary reminded me of one of the stories from "Tales From the Darkside", the movie. The one with the cat who got it's revenge with the old man who owned the pharmaceutical company that tested it's products on cats. Does anyone remember that one? That's great!!!!

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Hey Rigelesc,
I didn't write these. I got it as an email attachment the other day. I just figured I would share it with all of you here. :) Send it to any and all  ;). I'm off to find vegan food....bye! ::)

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ROFL!!!  I love this!  My husband and I often say that a certain activity is Maggie's favorite thing.  Whether it be eating, sleeping, running, playing....thanks for sharing, Dave!

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Oh, and don't forget crapping in the potted plants......that's one of my cat's favorite things to do apparantly  ;D

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Thanks DaveDrum

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Laugh every time I read this.  So very true!

Sunday night I fell asleep with one cat wrapped around my head, one on my stomach and one on my legs.  They know I hate disturbing them when they are sleeping.  I am sure that is why they do it. Nothing like waking up with aches and pains because I wouldn't move in case I caused them discomfort!  :)

Di

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